canoe obsession
there's this immense sense of longing eating my heart away since 6am this morning. eating slowly, painfully and what's left of my heart is sinking into a bottomless pit.an obsession. with canoe.
almost in a state of desperation to be at macritchie, where my teammates are competing today, where important races that mean a lot to me are being held. this impulse is precariously taking over, the minute it crosses the boundary i am going to sneak out of the house and head to the waters.
i want to watch the National Junior Canoeing Chanpionships. and the champion.
if i threw a tantrum, wad are the chances that my parents will grudgingly oblige and let me have things the way i want and still love me like their little princess - like how it was twelve years ago? the annoyingly-sensible part of me says, chances are they'll throw me out of the house and leave me to obtain my own permanent residence at macritchie.
it's a lose-lose situation: get into an external conflict with the domestic authorites or struggle with a self-triggered internal conflict.
submission is sheer misery.
with no relevance to my current state of mind, the following paragraph is dedicated to LOW JIA XIN:
hey bestfriend, i know i've said this like 9,342,860,475,031 to to the power of infinity times, but i swear i'll never stop missing you. i miss the days of walking into our green classroom with half-opened eyes and dragging you by the arm for a long walk to the furthest toilet in our level. i miss turning around during lessons to make a random comment to you like, "xin, half-boiled tomatoes are nutritious." i miss taking for granted that we wont ever spend more than 24hrs apart. now you belong to the homelands of serangoon and yishun, me in bukit timah and hougang but dont worry, you're my bestfriend and it'll stay that way for a long time to come. (: promise. (no choice lahh, you know too much about me and all my deepest darkest secret and all the stupid things i've done! okay actually hayeeeeatoii also know the stupid things i've done.) we must make a date soon. like now. BFF! <3>
/ subdued to nothingness.
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